Monday 30 April 2018
Loneliness
It's not even about finding prince charming or the one any more (as most of the people try to shove down my throat the unattainable fantasy of how one day I'll find him..) but more about how not to feel lonely and alone all the freekin' time...that is what eats me up inside.
Friday 30 March 2018
Life is still moving on
I haven't been here for ages, and I now realise I shouldn't have done so.
As opposed to last year, this year I haven't been able to keep up with my NYE's resolutions. I used to be a person who didn't really believe in that stuff but last year I was quite motivated. Or let's say it boosted my motivation. The sole fact that I had a list of dos and don'ts kind of help me guide my routine and point me in the direction I thought I should be going. It worked out ok...of course I didn't manage to follow everything but there were some considerable changes that have been included in my routine.
This year that motivation lasted little over than a couple of weeks. I have gotten used to being alone and spending weekends alone. I have some errands, I go to the gym, sometimes for a walk, sometimes for a coffee with a friend and out with most of the people only when it's someone's birthday. I've gotten tired and I have become used to browsing stories of several people in the same place while I am cast out. It's fine. It was part of my previous' year resolution to actually see and acknowledge who my friends are and value them. But always being alone is kind of taking it's toll to the point where I google what are the symptoms of depression...what does depression feel like...how do you tell if you're depressed. Furthermore things are not great at work...far from it and that adds an extra level of difficulty. An extra level of stress and not being able to rest or sleep well... a third level is this freaking long winter. The cold, snow, wind, days without sun and without being able to enjoy being outside are getting into me. This whole hibernation is over the limit people! I used to travel once a month...nothing this year....I also used to go a lot to shops in kind of a shopping spree but also nothing (good for my saving though!)
It's hard to admit that you are not mentally well..but I am not mentally well. I usually nap on the weekends, Saturday and Sunday if I can. also whenever there is a day I can home earlier and before heading out to the gym I also nap. There's a lot of napping... I am also usually in pyjama, night cream and in bed by 10pm. Not exactly to sleep but to feel the comfort of a cosy place and a warm blanket on top.
My best years are escaping through the fingers of my hands..
As opposed to last year, this year I haven't been able to keep up with my NYE's resolutions. I used to be a person who didn't really believe in that stuff but last year I was quite motivated. Or let's say it boosted my motivation. The sole fact that I had a list of dos and don'ts kind of help me guide my routine and point me in the direction I thought I should be going. It worked out ok...of course I didn't manage to follow everything but there were some considerable changes that have been included in my routine.
This year that motivation lasted little over than a couple of weeks. I have gotten used to being alone and spending weekends alone. I have some errands, I go to the gym, sometimes for a walk, sometimes for a coffee with a friend and out with most of the people only when it's someone's birthday. I've gotten tired and I have become used to browsing stories of several people in the same place while I am cast out. It's fine. It was part of my previous' year resolution to actually see and acknowledge who my friends are and value them. But always being alone is kind of taking it's toll to the point where I google what are the symptoms of depression...what does depression feel like...how do you tell if you're depressed. Furthermore things are not great at work...far from it and that adds an extra level of difficulty. An extra level of stress and not being able to rest or sleep well... a third level is this freaking long winter. The cold, snow, wind, days without sun and without being able to enjoy being outside are getting into me. This whole hibernation is over the limit people! I used to travel once a month...nothing this year....I also used to go a lot to shops in kind of a shopping spree but also nothing (good for my saving though!)
It's hard to admit that you are not mentally well..but I am not mentally well. I usually nap on the weekends, Saturday and Sunday if I can. also whenever there is a day I can home earlier and before heading out to the gym I also nap. There's a lot of napping... I am also usually in pyjama, night cream and in bed by 10pm. Not exactly to sleep but to feel the comfort of a cosy place and a warm blanket on top.
My best years are escaping through the fingers of my hands..
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